The letters of love breaks written by great philosophers

Translation of hilarious breaking letters from Kant, Descartes, Marx and Plato

Recently The New Yorker published in English some fragments of breaking letters written by philosophers throughout history. Here we translate some of them, which are mostly a hilarious window into the categorical mind of those who sign, who seem unable to escape their ideology even at the time of the breakup. In his intimacy there are "rationalist thinking" (Descartes), "bourgeoisie" (Marx) and "abstract transcendence" (Plato). Enjoy

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"Throughout our entire relationship I was absolutely and irrevocably miserable. Now I can see how you used me as a means to an end. Do you know what that makes me feel? It is imperative that you reflect on the meaning of the universal law, and stop do what you did with your tongue. I hated that. " –– Immanuel Kant

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"What are we doing? Every day that passes you become more isolated from your work. We have not made love in more than 1 month, even after I was healed of that eruption, and I was sure that we would celebrate properly. justice of this infernal masturbation which they call "relationship" ". ––Carlos Marx

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“It hurts to admit it, but Socrates was right about you. You are unable to think of someone other than you. When was the last time you even came to see me speak at the Academy? I have been lost in a state of denial for long enough. Now I finally realize that your love is not true. Your beauty is transcendent, yes, but painfully abstract. Let me battle with the material world. Go away". --Plato

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“I drink, therefore… I'm drunk. Haha! I thought this would be easier after my sixth glass of wine but, alas, it's still absolutely terrible. Oh, how my world becomes small when I think you are not in it, and ... no, you know what? Let me start over. Philosophy is like a tree, and it has all these branches that extend outward, but you are a bush. Cute and small, but not well versed in rationalist thinking. Do you understand what I am trying to say? --Rene Descartes